Healing Is the Process: The Miles That Changed Me

Healing isn’t something that happens overnight.

It’s not something you wake up and suddenly feel complete.

Healing is the process.

And for me, that process looked like something I didn’t even realize at the time…

Walking.

I used to walk five, six, sometimes even eight miles a day.

Walking to my job at Orange Elementary.

Walking to my internship at the Boys & Girls Club.

Even walking to the YMCA.

But the truth is—I wasn’t walking to heal.

I was walking because I had no choice.

There was a time in my life where I felt frustrated and mad at the world.

I would ask for rides, and people would either say no, ask for gas money I didn’t have, or just not show up.

And that hurt.

Because in my mind, I’m thinking…

“If I had it, I would help you. So why can’t you help me?”

It made me feel like when I needed people the most…

they weren’t there.

Especially after losing my mom and my dad.

I remember people saying they had me.

Saying they’d be there no matter what.

But as time went on, those words didn’t always match their actions.

And that did something to me.

I started shutting people out.

Even when people offered help, I didn’t want it.

Because in my mind, if you weren’t consistent… you didn’t really care.

So I stopped asking.

And I just walked.

Alone.

Every single day.

But what I didn’t realize was…

those walks were actually changing me.

They were teaching me things I couldn’t see in the moment.

They taught me resilience—because no matter how I felt, I still had to get where I needed to go.

They taught me patience—because everything wasn’t happening when I wanted it to.

They taught me discipline—because I showed up for myself every single day.

And they taught me how to keep going, even when I didn’t feel like it.

But most importantly…

They taught me understanding.

I had to be real with myself.

I wanted people to show up for me…

but I wasn’t thinking about what they might be going through.

What if they didn’t have it either?

What if they had their own struggles?

What if they were fighting battles I couldn’t see?

Everything is based on perspective.

We don’t always know what someone else is dealing with.

And one thing I had to learn was this:

You want grace… but are you giving it?

That changed me.

Looking back now, I understand something I didn’t understand then:

Some things you have to go through.

Not to break you—

but to build you.

Those long walks weren’t just about getting to work.

They were preparing me.

They were strengthening me.

They were healing me…

Even when I didn’t know it.

So if you’re in a season right now where you feel alone,

where people aren’t showing up how you expected,

where life just feels unfair…

Just understand this:

It’s going to be okay.

Everything you’re going through has a purpose.

Even the parts that hurt.

Let it play out.

Let it grow you.

Let it teach you.

Because one day you’ll look back and realize…

That was part of your healing.

Healing isn’t the destination.

Healing is the process.

 

Don’t Give Up. No Excuses.